Feel the Fear and Create Your Own Future

Change can be scary for many people but it's  also the pathway to our liberation. Top selling French/Cuban author, the late Anais Nin, once said “And then the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

If there is something in your life you need to let go of, from an unhealthy relationship to negative patterns of behaviour, try writing down and answering these five questions to free yourself from the paralysis of self- doubt and into a new found freedom:-

  1. What am I no longer willing to have as part of my life?
  2. What do I want instead?
  3. What stops me saying goodbye to what I no longer want once and for all?
  4. What will it cost me if I continue to have this in my life?
  5. What do I commit to doing to bring in or create space for the new?

Even if you sit there for an hour not knowing what to write in response... try breathing deeply, relaxing , and trusting yourself that you know that you know the answer, even if you aren’t conscious of it yet, it will gradually start to surface from the depths of your unconscious mind.

The most important thing is to do something, no matter how small, even if you can’t do it with a full heart and total conviction.  Don’t wait until you believe change is possible. Don’t wait to feel good to do something that will do you good.  Do it, and eventually you’ll catch up with yourself and build momentum to go on and make your own dreams come true.

This is particularly powerful if you are trying to move on from say a relationship that, for whatever reason, has ended. Ask yourself just how much you are prepared to inconvenience yourself to start a new and very different life. The British Racing Driver, Nigel Mansell who later became a Forumula One World Champion in 1992 knew all about inconveniencing himself. He gave up a secure job, sold everything he owned and lived in his car whilst he was trying to establish himself as a professional driver. He even at one point discharged himself from hospital with a broken neck ( albeit in a collar) against medical advise to take part in a race. But eventually through his own efforts he he achieved his dream to stand on the podium and take the trophy as the World's number one!  Whilst there is no need to perhaps make such drastic sacrifices as Mr Mansell- you must be prepare to take some action. Life passes very quickly. Why let more months slip by without making an effort to change things for the better?  Each week after starting this process, revisit what you have written and answer the following questions:-

  1. What new things have come into my life as a result of the actions I have taken?
  2. What have I noticed about me, or the way that others respond to me, since making changes?
  3. Is there anything else I can do to support myself in creating my new life?

You may suprise yourself by just how much progress you've made in a short space of time. And remember you've nothing to loose but everything to gain!

Posted on Tue 19th Apr 2011 21:22:23